It's been 8 days since I've begun Celexa and I have to say I am feeling so much better. I haven't cried in over a week and I haven't been feeling anxious about anything. Actually, I have been rather relaxed and fairly pleasant. I have been making sure that I feel good about myself inside and out. I've been doing my hair, still wearing dresses-I don't see that changing anytime soon. So things are good. I read a couple horribly tragic articles in the paper and didn't even CRY! This means things are going well. For years every time I've read the paper and have read about a family dying in a car crash or some douche bag stabbing his kids to death and leaving the mother devastated I have gushed tears of sorrow and sometimes I've just outright bawled my eyes out. Not this week! I read about people dying and no tears! I was still sad but not so much that I did my usual tear fest. Depression is a bitch people. It really is.
I also managed to make it to school EVERYDAY this week! That hasn't happened in a while. Usually I don't leave the house on Thursdays and Fridays so I always miss the 2nd part of my Meso-America class and Friday's Ethnology of The Himalayas class-I LOVE this class. I should not be missing it! I went today and felt so good being there.
I was able to be off meds for almost 3 years but unfortunately I was focusing more on my anxiety and less on my depression. It should have been the other way because it is my depression that is tied into my anxiety and it is because of my depression that I'm so overly sensitive to things. But I'm on the best path for me right now and I would love to be able to pop a few Adrenasense pills and feel better but that's not been happening. Sometimes we need meds and there is nothing wrong with that. Mental illness is real and has tangible effects on my life. Missing school and missing out on being social is detrimental and I shouldn't have to explain that to anyone.